Macey Was a Special Soul, But Pain Ended His Life

Macey Was a Special Soul…

Author: Renee Muellner

In Loving Memory of Macey Muellner

Macey was A special soul, but pain ended his life  

My son actually was able to work at {Serenity} Recovery Connection. He LOVED being there! He felt useful & finally had a “job” that he knew a lot about.  

After living with a brain birth defect that was repaired as a child he had a good life till he was 18 years old. The head pain that he had as a child (that was repaired) CAME back at 18 yrs old. He/we went through so many yrs of searching for answers to “why?”, procedures to “repair” the problem but nothing worked EXCEPT pain meds. Unfortunately more and more were needed. Rehab from pain meds & sleep meds became a yearly event. The wonderful son I knew & LOVED soooo much, developed anger & hopelessness over the last 10 years. He DID have some good years when he WAS able to lower his medications & keep busy with various jobs like {Serenity}  Recovery Connection. But as time went on his personality became more unreasonable, poor memory & increasing anxiety.  

He was on a constant search for doctors that would “HELP” him! Even though he had many doctors… He felt like they “did NOT help” him. Meds made him unable to reason… Unable to even get help from mental health counselors, ER, OR ME.  

In March 2023 he asked me  “MOM just let me GO!” as I was about to walk out the door for work. The night before involved the police, to try to calm him & me down, another loud silly argument….  

As I left that morning with my teary eyes, I told him ” Macey, I just need PEACE” … HE DID TOO. He took his life. 

He did have an embroidered cross he carried in his wallet & I often told him that all HIS suffering (affliction) on Earth will be known by GOD & those souls WILL be escorted to HEAVEN.  

I MISS him sooo, and have so many regrets. So many did try to help BUT…  

He LOVED trying to help others with addiction. He had lived with pain, homelessness occasionally, medication misuse, mental & physical pain BUT tried to put on a “front” around others.  

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