Recovery Hero: Ryan

My name is Ryan and I have been in Recovery since February 2015 and sober since October 2015. My biggest achievement by far is having escaped the need to get high or drink. Sometimes, I still want to use, but I know that I won’t ever again, and I still haven’t nearly six years later. It’s hard to say that this is MY biggest achievement because I’m really not sure what I did to make this happen. One moment I was angry as could be; at god, life, and anybody who got in my way, and the next, I knew deep down that God had a plan for me in my life and that the path I was searching for was right in front of my face the entire time. I just had decided that it wasn’t going to work for me without giving it a real shot.It’s hard to summarize the spiraling shame that led up to it or why it is so clear, but my lowest point in addiction was being blacked out in a random person’s car when I came too and started freaking out.

I screamed “Who are you”!? at the man, and he screamed back “Ryan I am your father!” and what I felt in that moment was hard to explain. It wasn’t shame, but like knowing that I had strayed from my path. I knew at that moment that my family was worried and afraid of what my future might hold. I blacked out again, but even though I was blacked out I still remember that moment so clearly. Service for me looks like being good to myself and others. It could be running errands for my mom, or just being nice, but I do what I can when I get the opportunity. I also take care of myself because without taking care of myself, I cannot take care of others either. Occasionally I meet someone who is in the middle of addiction and I am able to offer advice only a recovering addict can give. I don’t usually hear back, but I know that my experiences will help someone one day, if not already